A Pain in the... Chest!

Yesterday afternoon I began having chest pain. A twinge here, another one there.
Then last night while I was wiping down the kitchen counter it felt like a small
vehicle slammed into my chest. And just like that, the pain was gone. I felt a
little odd. Kind of spacey. Mostly because it scared the shit out of me and my
heart was pumping faster than I could think.

What was THAT?

I sat down at my kitchen counter. Don’t panic. It was nothing, a little indigestion,
I thought. Nothing to worry about. I stood up slowly, grabbed the sponge off the
counter, and carefully escorted it back to the sink, because damned if I was going
to wipe that counter down - ever again!

While I sat debating with myself, what could have possibly caused the pain in my
chest, I got another twinge of pain. And then another. What to do... what to do.

Some people would have dialed 911. Not me. Some people would have called the
after-hours number to their doctors office. Not me. Denial - now that’s me.

It can’t be my heart. I don’t have time for it to be my heart. I have work
to do, kids to raise, a date to go walking with my friends this week. I have
no time in my life for heart problems. So I went to bed, heart pounding out
of my chest. “I’ll feel better in the morning” I said to no one. “I just need
to get some rest.”

“Dear God, please don’t let me die. It would be terribly inconvenient if I
didn‘t wake up in the morning. Amen.”

This morning when I got up, my chest still hurt. I swallowed a couple of Tums
and called the doctor.

I hate to call the doctor.

When I call the doctor I want him to make me better over the phone; I want
him to call in a prescription… wave his magic wand… and tell me everything
is going to be okay. I don’t want to hear the words “You‘re going to need
to be seen” because I don’t have time to be seen. I have things to do.

But, that is exactly what they said.

So four hours, and one EKG later, They had a diagnosis; Dyspepsia. A fancy
word for indigestion. Apparently my body is rejecting the coffee, sauerkraut,
tomatoes, grapefruit, and wine I’ve been feeding it over the past few days,
and has decided to fight back.

Hellfire and brimstone! - Heavy on the hellfire part.

They also diagnosed me with high blood pressure. Most likely caused from the
anxiety of having to be seen in the first place. I have to be seen again in a
few days so they can recheck my blood pressure.

Life is too short to worry about chest pain, high blood pressure, and
indigestion. And it's definitely too short to be giving up sauerkraut,
red wine, and chocolate! What to do... what to do.

I'm caling 911.